Land of Souls and Olives, a Conclusion: Pasta La Vista Motherfuckers. Part 1.

mspandrew:

More than a year ago, some people on the internet wanted to buy me a soul portrait, and gave me $150 to commission a mentally ill person to photoshop god lasers and dumb tigers on to my high school yearbook photo, or my driver’s license mugshot, or something. I of course refused, but graciously accepted the money anyway, and proceeded to labor over the spiritually meretricious document myself. I additionally made a somber vow to spend all one hundred and fifty dollars on a humorously mediocre Italian meal served at the Olive Garden, a chain to which American families compliantly fork over their dinner plans each year by the tens of billions, probably. I also pledged that I would record the endeavor carefully, in a drawn out faux-journalistic spiel that had loads of jokes in it. But since I’m currently weighed down with an olympiadic bronze statue’s fist worth of shitty pasta in my belly, and feeling a bit off, I give you this essay instead.

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Reblogged from mspandrew

Compare Ovaltine to fruits and vegetables! →

Someone please link me to the website where you can compare doughnuts to washing machines.

cognitivedissonance: From the “shit you can’t make up” files indeed… Matt Ortega of AMERICAblog on Rick Perry’s Brokeback Mountain moment: Rick Perry launched an anti-gay ad called, “Strong.” In the ad, he attacks gays openly serving in the armed forces. As it turns out, the gays get their revenge… the jacket Rick Perry wore in the ad? Heath Ledger wore it in “Brokeback Mountain.” This is just fantastic. I know others who have the same jacket, but seriously. This is rainbow sprinkles on a shit sundae right here. According to Ortega’s post, the divisive ad even caused conflict on Perry’s staff. You know it’s bad when your own staff thinks it’s slightly to the right of Attila the Hun. Here’s my take on the ad from yesterday and discussion on Scumbag Rick Perry’s hypocrisy. Hint: Slam Obama for excluding Christmas. Exclude Christmas.

cognitivedissonance:

From the “shit you can’t make up” files indeed… Matt Ortega of AMERICAblog on Rick Perry’s Brokeback Mountain moment:

Rick Perry launched an anti-gay ad called, “Strong.” In the ad, he attacks gays openly serving in the armed forces. As it turns out, the gays get their revenge… the jacket Rick Perry wore in the ad? Heath Ledger wore it in “Brokeback Mountain.”

This is just fantastic. I know others who have the same jacket, but seriously. This is rainbow sprinkles on a shit sundae right here.

According to Ortega’s post, the divisive ad even caused conflict on Perry’s staff. You know it’s bad when your own staff thinks it’s slightly to the right of Attila the Hun. Here’s my take on the ad from yesterday and discussion on Scumbag Rick Perry’s hypocrisy. Hint: Slam Obama for excluding Christmas. Exclude Christmas.

Reblogged from cognitivedissonance

ibeching:

Meanwhile, here’s a comet slamming into the mother fucking sun.

Reblogged from ibeching